HONEST COMMUNICATION

"In order to become more honest in our relationships, we need to stop thinking of honesty as cold, hard truth. We also need to abandon the notion that being honest with children means taking their inventories. Instead, we need to think of honesty and sharing our feelings, ideas, and mistakes and allowing our children to share theirs - without fear of rejection or recrimination. Honesty means expressing affection and making amends, recognizing strengths and achievements. It is a moral fresh air - healthy, cleansing, and restorative." -- Alex Packer

How easy it is to mistake honesty for harsh truths, when in fact honesty can be a refreshingly sweet tonic. Honesty in our relationships with our children must include the words, " I love you" just as freely as it emphasizes the words, " I'm upset with you."

Authority and Amends

"The purpose of making amends is to undo errors, repair damage, and make ourselves and those we have wronged feel better." - Alex Packer

The making of amends is a powerful tool for healing broken relationships. This is especially meaningful for parents in recovery. Some parents in recovery imagine that making amends to their children will undermine their authority. Nothing could be further from the truth. Honesty and humility strengthen the authority of parents rather than undermined it.

Perfectionism

"You don't have to be all things to your kids. And your kids don't want you to be either. It's a lot easier for them if they don't have to live up to someone who aspires to be God." -- Alex Packer

Perfectionism is a curse. God's love for us is not dependent on our past, our performance or our perfectionism. None of us can be a perfect parent, or perfect anything else. We must all practice the courage to be imperfect. Perfectionism is a burden that robs ones life of joy in spontaneity.