Be Willing To Have It So

"Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." - William James

Our children often have a melt-down when things don't go exactly the way they want or expect. When that happens, we have an opportunity to teach them the importance of acceptance. Too often I see parents miss this opportunity entirely. Instead, they bribe their child with promises in an effort to distract them from their disappointment. It is better to use patient conversation to guide them in the way of acceptance.

Talk Slowly

Talk slowly but think quickly.

This is highly useful advice for parents. When we face an issue of discipline, resistance or disobedience with our child, it is very important to check our first impulse. Our first impulse is most often triggered by fear of losing control of the situation or we are acting on the reflexive desire to reinforce our authority. When we take a moment to think before we speak, we are more likely to avoid an emotional scene or a power struggle. You can always ask questions such as, "How do you see this?" Or, "What is important to you at this moment?" By asking non-threatening questions, you can buy yourself some time to think as well as calm your inner mind so that you can actually pay attention to your child rather than reacting to them.