Talk Slowly

Talk slowly but think quickly.

This is highly useful advice for parents. When we face an issue of discipline, resistance or disobedience with our child, it is very important to check our first impulse. Our first impulse is most often triggered by fear of losing control of the situation or we are acting on the reflexive desire to reinforce our authority. When we take a moment to think before we speak, we are more likely to avoid an emotional scene or a power struggle. You can always ask questions such as, "How do you see this?" Or, "What is important to you at this moment?" By asking non-threatening questions, you can buy yourself some time to think as well as calm your inner mind so that you can actually pay attention to your child rather than reacting to them.

Change Your Mind

"A wise man changes his mind. A fool never will." - Spanish Proverb

This applies to parents as well. While it is very important for you as a parent of provide your child with firm rules, limits and guidelines (some parents fail miserably at this) it is also important to recognize new situations and adapt your positions accordingly. If you never allow your child to change your mind on an issue once you have taken a stand, your child will grow up feeling powerless when dealing with any authority figure. Feeling powerless when dealing with authority leads to passivity, resignation and helplessness.

First Day of School

"I believe the most stirring moment in the experience of a parent comes on the day he leaves the child in school for the first time. This can be so sharp an experience that, when there are two or three children, this ritual has to be alternated between parents." - Harry Golden

That first day of school is the beginning of the end. We are no longer the sole source of guidance and wisdom for our child. The day our first child uttered the words, "Teacher said…" was the end of me reign as king of her universe. From that day on, I had to share her with others who would influence her thoughts and dreams.