NO PROOF NEEDED

"Attempts to prove one's value are altogether futile. No proof can bring lasting self-confidence to anyone who doubts himself; no circumstance can be too trivial to serve as a testing ground for the uncertain." - Rudolf Dreikurs

This goes for parents as well. It is always a mistake to try to prove to your children that you love them. All you need do is ask yourself, "Do I love my children?" If the answer comes back "yes," then you are free to go about the business of being a parent to your children. All attempts to prove to your children that you love them will lead to disaster. Your children will quickly learn to exploit your insecurity by demanding evidence that you love them. These demands will gradually become more and more outrageous.

THE CHILD AS ALLY

"There is a great temptation to employ the child as an ally against other adults, especially when the others try to use him in that manner." - Rudolph Dreikurs

All too often, parents pit a child against their other parent. A parent may do this by claiming that the child is offended by something the other parent says or does. When, in fact, it is the adult who takes offense at their partner's actions or words. It is never appropriate for one parent to recruit a child as an ally against the other parent. This confuses children and puts them in a loyalty bind.