Putting Your Thoughts Into Action

"Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why is this so? Action requires a different level of commitment than does thinking. It is easy to think of a good idea, imagine a result, envision a completed project. In our imagination, there is no penalty for failure, no evaluation of outcomes, no report card. When we take decisive action to turn our thoughts and dreams into action, everything changes. We must take risks in the real world, expend more energy, burn more calories, exert more effort, acquire resources, solve problems, enlist the help of others and expose ourselves and our ideas to the evaluation and criticism of others. This takes much more courage than thinking.

First Day of School

"I believe the most stirring moment in the experience of a parent comes on the day he leaves the child in school for the first time. This can be so sharp an experience that, when there are two or three children, this ritual has to be alternated between parents." - Harry Golden

That first day of school is the beginning of the end. We are no longer the sole source of guidance and wisdom for our child. The day our first child uttered the words, "Teacher said…" was the end of me reign as king of her universe. From that day on, I had to share her with others who would influence her thoughts and dreams.

Sense of Wonder

"If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." - Rachel Carson

Our children need those champions in there lives that will support their imagination, creativity and sense of wonder. They need this as much as they need safe homes and quality schools. Without imagination, their lives will be dull, regardless of their education.

CHARACTER

"Sports do not build character, they reveal it." -- Heywood Hale Broun

This is a good thing for parents to remember. You build character in your kids at home. They watch your actions, your choices and your decisions. If you model character for them and demonstrate character through discipline when they take short cuts, their character will serve them well. Don't expect some coach to build their character once they begin to play sports.

Unstructured Time

"We have kept our children so busy with 'useful' and 'improving' activities that we are in danger of raising a generation of young people who are terrified of silence, of being alone with their thoughts." - Eda Le Shan

While Le Shan's observation is unsettling, it is also true in all too many cases. Too many children have spend their entire childhood and youth in structured activities such as daycare, school and organized sports. They have never developed their natural ability to explore, improvise, and discover the natural world around them. Make a point to allow your child enough free, unstructured time.

Happiness and Convictions

"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." - Freya Stark

You will very unhappy if your actions are consistently out of sync with your beliefs. While no one is perfect and we all fall short of living up to our own standards, to continually do things that you don't believe in will destroy your soul. Make it a point to live according to your convictions and you will find peace and joy in your life.

Happiness is a Choice

Happiness is a Choice

"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change." - Barbara De Angelis

De Angelis makes a very bold statement about happiness and change. She challenges the attitudes held by many who believe that happiness is managed by fate, or by circumstances beyond our control. Happiness is a choice. Your attitude is a choice. You hold in your hand the power to decide. You can decide about the life you want.

what we are

"In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do." - Stephen R. Covey

Dr. Covey understands the proper role of parents. Living a life of integrity in the presence of our children is far more instructive than the words we say. This is not to say we should remain silent about values and virtues but rather that our instruction is far more effective when our words are matched and modeled in our deeds.

Attitude

"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes." - Victor Frankl

Frankl's famous book, From Death Camp to Existentialism is the elegant story of how he remained in charge of his attitude under the most trying circumstances. He learned that his captors could not control his attitude about his fate. He learned that he alone was in charge of his own attitude. Too often we complain that others have put us in a bad mood or ruined our day. This is an excuse.

Take Action Now

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." - Goethe

"A year from now you will wish you had started today." - Karen Lamb

In these two quotations, Lamb and Goethe encourage us to take action now! There is no substitute for resolute action, especially when that action begins immediately. Entrepreneurs are action prone, always preferring action to contemplation. Contemplation and reflection have their place but without action there can be no result, no fruit, no accomplishment, and no creation.

Self-mastery

Self-mastery

"The lion who breaks the enemy's ranks is a minor hero compared to the lion who overcomes himself." - Rumi

Rumi, the great Persian poet and mystic understood the importance of self mastery. If we cannot master ourselves we will be unable to accomplish the things we dream of. Self-mastery, like self-discipline, requires that we remember what is most important and keep that as the focus of our attention. Whatever captured and retains our attention determines the course of our lives.

Appreciation and thanks

"This world is fast-moving, constantly changing and all-absorbing -- appreciation and thanks have a way of slowing things down." - Ross Levin

Levin has a simple strategy for achieving mindfulness, appreciate what you have and give thanks. In order to be thankful and appreciative, we have to do two important things: get outside ourselves and pay attention to others around us as well as the scenery of our lives.

Thinking With Purpose

"To begin to think with purpose is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment." ¾ James Allen

Allen was an early writer in the long tradition of positive thinking. He is still a major figure in this field. He understood the importance of thinking with purpose and intentionality. His voice is a serious challenge to those who drift through life while believing that some form of fate controls their destiny.

Your right to be wrong

"Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life." - David M. Burns

Dr. Burns understands the importance of freedom from judgment. Too much concern over avoiding mistakes sucks the life from us and turns our souring creative impulses into a pile of dead leaves.

self-confidence

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford.

The founder of the American automobile assembly line understood the importance of confidence and optimism. What we believe about our hopes and dreams has a profound impact on the likelihood of our success. It is important to help our children build their self-confidence through encouragement and affirmation.

Acceptance

"Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." -- William James

This seems so obvious. What benefit could possibly come as a result of resisting reality? After all, you can go nowhere from where you are not. You can only move forward from the place your standing. To accept your misfortune is to stand on solid ground, the only meaningful starting place for a new tomorrow.

Meditations for Parents in recovery

Tree Frogs

Happiness is a Choice

“Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.” — Immanuel Kant

The great German philosopher got it right. Happiness is not based on logic, facts or reason. Happiness is the result of imagination and decision. Happiness is a choice. We can choose to be happy by choosing what we focus our attention on. Attention is a choice, much to the surprise of some.

Real Peace

“If we are not peaceful, if we are not feeling well in our skin, we cannot demonstrate real peace, and we cannot raise our children well either.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

This Buddhist monk speaks to the importance of the life we live in the presence of our children as their parents. Our children imitate the attitudes and behaviors they see us live in their presence, regardless of what we may try to teach them with our words. Let us live peaceably with our children that they may experience peace in their lives.

Children are Artists

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up…” – Pablo Picasso

"Children dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music." — William Stafford

Both of these artists recognized the joyful creativity of young children. In their innocence and spontaneity they freely and joyfully create from their imagination. They are not inhibited or worried about what others think. They avoid the poisonous trap of comparing themselves to others. Too bad we can’t be more like these children.