The making of amends is a powerful tool for healing broken relationships. This is especially meaningful for parents in recovery. Some parents in recovery imagine that making amends to their children will undermine their authority. Nothing could be further from the truth. Honesty and humility strengthen the authority of parents rather than undermined it.
Rebuilding damaged trust is a major task for parents and recovery. By the time parents get into recovery, they have usually destroyed a lot of trust that their children once had in them. This trust can be repaired but it takes time, patience and steady goodwill.
"It is my belief that any family communication not leading to realness or straight, single levels of meaning cannot possibly lead to the trust and love that, of course, nourish members of the family." - Virginia Satir
Straight communication is rarely experienced in chemically dependent family systems. In our recovery, we are learning to communicate in direct, non-gamy ways. We practice saying what we mean, and meaning what we say. We try to avoid all hidden meanings. If we're upset, we say so. No hidden agendas.
Step 10, taking a personal inventory, is a critical part of our recovery. It is the method we use for personal accountability. Without accountability, we cannot heal and repair our relationships. Repairing our relationships is central to our recovery as parents.
As parents and recovery, we come with lots of baggage from our past. This baggage has a tendency to drag us backwards. We must learn to live in the moment while looking forward to the future. As we apply the principles of recovery we are more and more able to live in day-tight compartments.
